Your 80-Year-Old Self Has Wisdom You Don’t Right Now. Listen-Up To Make Better Decisions.

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Imagine yourself at 80 looking back at the decisions you’re facing today. 

Though crystal balls don’t exist, certain research can help you look into your future, if you know how to look. And then apply specific insights to your life today so you can make better decisions – and find greater fulfillment at the same time. 

Research on regret, aging, and happiness suggests your perspective changes when you recognize that your time is limited. Things that seem incredibly important today may matter a lot less when you look back decades from now. Other things you barely think about now may turn out to matter a lot more later. They usually do. 

The good news is that you don’t have to wait until you’re 80 to benefit from that perspective. Here’s how to benefit now from the wisdom of your 80-year-old self. 

Forecast Regret to Inspire Action 

Cornell psychologists Thomas Gilovich and Victoria Medvec studied how regret changes over time. 

Their research found that in the short term, you’re more likely to regret something you did. Maybe you said something you shouldn’t have to a friend or colleague. Maybe you took a job that turned out to be a mistake. Maybe you made a bad financial decision. 

Over the long term, however, your bigger regrets come from the things you wished you had done but didn’t do – the opportunities you passed up. 

Think about what that could mean for you. Maybe it’s starting the business you’ve always wanted to start. Taking the trip you’ve been putting off. Accepting an invitation that takes you outside your comfort zone. Leaving something that isn’t working. Calling the person you’ve lost touch with. 

Doing nothing can feel like the safer choice today. Years from now, it could become the passive decision you regret most. 

Leverage Limited Time 

Stanford psychologist Laura Carstensen’s research adds another dimension to all this. When you perceive that you have plenty of time ahead of you, you’re more likely to focus on external goals like work, travel, and other accomplishments. 

But when you recognize that your remaining time is limited, priorities shift toward more emotionally meaningful goals and deepening existing relationships. 

You might assume that’s simply what happens when you get old. It does. But Carstensen found that when younger people imagined their future time becoming constrained, their preferences shifted too. 

Try it now. 

If you had a month left to live, how would you spend it? Your priorities would probably change pretty quickly. The good news: you don’t need a crisis to create that perspective. 

Deepen Your Relationships 

The Harvard Study of Adult Development provides another reason to think differently about how you’re spending your time. 

For more than 85 years, researchers have studied people’s careers, health, families, relationships, and other aspects of their lives to better understand what contributes to health and happiness. 

One of the most interesting findings came when researchers looked people at age 50 and then asked what best predicted how healthy and happy they would be at age 80. 

Cholesterol, blood pressure, income, and career success didn’t make the cut. Instead, satisfaction with relationships was the strongest predictor. 

In my leadership development programs, I ask people to talk about how their work has meaning. Most discussions go pretty deep and reveal a disconnect between where they spend their time versus what they really care about in their lives. 

Most people work a lot. But they really want better relationships with their spouses and children, enriching experiences with people they care about, and greater personal development. In most cases, the things they want involve other people directly or indirectly. Said another way, they want deeper and more fulfilling relationships. 

Borrow Wisdom From Your Future Self 

You can’t know exactly what you’ll think when you’re 80. But the research gives you solid clues. 

You’ll probably regret opportunities you didn’t pursue. You’ll wish you spent time deepening certain relationships. And you may reflect on just how you spent you time as well. 

So, answer these questions from your future self now: 

• • What opportunity do you most regret passing up? 
  • Which relationships deserved more of your attention? 
  • What were you spending enormous amounts of time on that really didn’t matter? 

The next time you’re facing an important decision, imagine your 80-year-old self sitting across the table from you. Ask what that person would tell you to do. 

You may still make exactly the same decision. But you’ll be making it using the wisdom that already exists inside you.